What a morning. I woke up exhausted but my hosts as usual were fantastic and they woke up before me to make my breakfast and see me off. I think I managed about 4 hours sleep and had a 10 hour, 1000km drive to Genoa.

So thinks didn’t start so well. I was meant to wake up at 7am and be out of the house by 7:30am. Yup….that didn’t happen. It was 8:30am by the time I drove off, but in my defense, Ingrid made me a lovely coffee and laid out a superb breakfast for me.

So by the time I realised it was 8am, I got my stuff together and we all headed down to the car.

The journey through Austria went rather well, and by the time I reached the Italian border at 11:40am, everything was well on hand with my arrival time (thankfully), dropping from 17:45 to 17:15 by the time I was cruising past Venice. The initial arrival time would have been cutting it rather fine since my boat departed at 18:00.

As I approached Genoa, the roads massively improved. Luca from work was spot on when he told me the motorways in Italy were straight. Very straight. So much so that when there was a curve, the excitement to move my steering wheelwas immense. Oh, how dull those roads are!

Nevertheless, the last 60km into Genoa were amazing twisty roads and I thought about having a little fun……until I remembered how heavy and top loaded my car was. Yup….bad. Back on came the traction control. Don’t ever do that again Nick….

So I finally arrived at the ferry port in Genoa with 30 minutes to spare and what a sight that was. Fully of “very” dodgy looking cars. Most were simply massively overloaded with people screaming to one another. There was another with smoke belching out the engine. Another with two flat tires and the owner trying to jack it up using a dodgy jack. Seriously, that was never going to work!!!

But worst of all were the number of Mercedes cars with broken windows and no number plates. They were filled with five guys and about 5 of them had smashed windows in some part or other. How they got to the port and how they were allowed on board was anyones guess but there you go!

It when got worse! A worker directed me onto the boat and into the garage with the other cars. I didn’t think of it at all until I was well inside the garage. On of the Italian workers let out a typically Italian, “Ay ay ay! Mama Mia!!!”. I then realised I was in some kind of trouble. He babbled something to me which I didn’t understand so he repeated in broken Spanish, “You are in the wrong garage. If you don’t get out now, you won’t get your car out at Barcelona…..!!!” Bugger….

This meant everybody behind me had to reverse out of the garage, up very steep gantries, so there were some daggers facing my way as you might imagine. On top of that, there were about 2-3 of those massively overloaded vans dating back to the early 80′s and these too had to reserve back up the ramps. Yup. I wasn’t popular then, but I managed to get out unscathed and in one piece.

However driving back into the boat, I asked every worker if this was the garage for Barcelona. I didn’t want to make the same mistake twice!

Still, after all the palaver, I had my car safely parked in the ferry and I managed to find my private cabin on the ship.

Unfortunately, the description of the website didn’t quite match that of the actual ship. The cabin was “reasonably” clean but it wasn’t exactly a priority of the cleaners to make it spotless. My toilet seat was also broken and the shower was….well, a little manky. Not my cup of tea anyway! At least the beds were clean and had clean sheets and I had a view from a large window which was nice.

So I decided to tour the ship and get an early dinner. Not likely! All the restaurants were closed until 8pm and to make matters worse, I was in such a rush to get on board to not miss the ferry, I’d forgotten to take out any cash, and guess what? Credit cards were not accepted on board! (Apart from in the most expensive restaurant!)

So with the only 5eur I had left, I bought a beer and paid 10eur (luckily by credit card), for just 4 hours of internet access. My only saviour on board! At least I could in touch with people.

After my beer, I decided to explore the boat a little. It had definitely seen better days when it was first build in 1994. The pool area had become a smoking room and the small amount of shallow water left was now a murky brown colour. The casino was just full of slot machines, the cinema was broken, most of the bars were shut and none of the lifts worked. Yup, not quite the cruise ship I imagined but there was dinner to look forward to.

My hopes were dashed. The prices were insanely expensive. I had a plate of cold cut meats for a starter and a steak for my main. Not exactly cheap items I hear you say but when everything was about the same price bar 1 or 2 euros, you just pick what you recognise. The cold cuts were ok, but at 12eur, a little OTT, and my steak was just that. A steak on a bed of salad. This and another beer set me back 41eur. Last time I don’t take food on board!

So I went back to my cabin and luckily had downloaded an episode of the Apprentice to watch so I settled down to that and promptly dozed off….until 2am.

Some of the other guests decided it was the appropriate time to shout jokes to one-another from across the galley waking me, and the kids next door up. Cue crying children and me shouting back at them to shut the hell up! (Which they did immediately).

After another 30 minutes, I dozed off again and woke up at about 8am ready to enjoy breakfast. On no….wait a moment. I couldn’t do that. The credit card machine decided to break in the middle of the night meaning I had no breakfast.

So things began on the 10th June. My last full day in Vienna. It was a very sad day knowing I’d be leaving so many good friends behind. My colleagues at 123people organised some farewell drinks and some top notch gifts including Leberkäse, a vacuum packed schnitzel and some very fine Austrian beers amongst many things.

After a lot of goodbyes, I left at 3pm with my friend Luis to take back my mattress to Ikea and load up the car. Even the journey there was a mini adventure when I managed to almost write-off my car whilst switching lanes and side-swiping another car. The mattress in the car totally obscured my view but not Luis’s who looked visibly shaken by the close encounter telling me we had missing each other by about 5 cm! That’s F1 driving skills for you!

On top of that, after 6 years of use, Ikea accepted the return of the mattress and gave me a full refund! Top notch!

So back at the house after our Ikea trip, we began packing the car. I’ve no idea how we managed it, but I managed to get everything into the car with some space to spare. It all looked rather impressive however packing had taken much longer than expected and by the time we finished, it was past 8pm. I made many promises to see many people and I was unable to see them as a result. I’m am sorry for this.

Nevertheless, the night hadn’t ended and by 10pm, my friends had asked me along for drinks so after dinner, I jumped back in my car to head over to the bar.

Little did I know but doing my sneaky u-turn, I managed to commit 3….yes count them….3 separate traffic offences and found a police car with the lights and sirens wailing right on my tail. Bugger.

The whole evening was a little too much for me and I think down to pure exhaustion, I began shaking without saying a wordwhile the policeman blurted out what I’d done. I don’t think I was even listening however just at that point, Ingrid and Luis came running out of the bar with Ingrid jumping right to my defense! She pretty much explained my recent history to the policeman and even his face dropped!!!! I’ve no idea how but I fine that should have been well over 100eur, ended up at just 21eur!!!! Ingrid, you legend!!! You can be my lawyer, anytime!

So the evening ended with a beer and a trip back to Luis and Ingrids where I was staying for my final night in Vienna.

Photo taken by my fantastic wedding photographer, Claire Morgan

www.claire-morgan.com